


Hurts Like Hell

by Fireheart021102



Series: Gambling with Fate [1]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Help, How Do I Tag, I'm Bad At Summaries, Melida/Daan, My First AO3 Post, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Mess, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23821885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fireheart021102/pseuds/Fireheart021102
Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi has been to war before. Not everyone knows this. In fact most have forgotten. But war leaves its marks on everyone.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, CC-2224 | Cody & Obi-Wan Kenobi
Series: Gambling with Fate [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728700
Comments: 25
Kudos: 430





	Hurts Like Hell

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Project0506](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project0506/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Sea in Storm](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23766289) by [Project0506](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project0506/pseuds/Project0506). 



> So the only reason this fic exists let alone this account is because of Project0506. Your encouragement is literally the whole reason it exist at all. Hopefully it lives up to your epectations! *Throws fic into the void and hides behind hands*

He could hear them. He could hear them all. The voices of everyone he’d failed. Children he’d lead to battle and lost because he wasn’t good enough. Why was he never good enough? Obi-Wan pulled himself up from the bunk and tried desperately to calm the shaking in his hands. He needed to stay focused and he tried and failed to shove his memories of Melida/Daan from his head. Standing he left his quarters. If he couldn’t get the memories out of his head he would fight the training droids until he was too tired to think.  
Turning the droids on was easy and soon enough the adrenaline of the fight drowned out all thoughts except, dodge, hit, kick, jump. He could feel the soreness taking root in his muscles but he couldn’t stop. If he stopped he’d think. He couldn’t think or he’d hear the screams again. He’d gotten over it. He had. But the war had brought it all back. New screams and sounds had joined into the chorus of pain that lived in a box in the back of his mind. Forcefully he pushed his thoughts away as he took off his tunic. So much pain. He'd failed so many of them. Cerasi. His mind was being gloriously unhelpful. He'd failed her. He'd failed Qui-Gon. He failed every troop he lost. Why couldn't he save them? His punches became more erratic as the thoughts spiraled. Someone came up behind him and before his thoughts could catch up he attacked with a decidedly un-jedi like move. One meant to cause pain and disable at the same time. It was only because Kix had jumped back in time that he'd avoided the move. Shame filled him.  
“My apologies. I don’t know what came over me.” Quickly Obi-Wan scooped up his robe and put it on. It was too late though, Kix had already seen.  
“Sir,” Kix said and there was a hint of something in his tone that Obi-Wan couldn’t identify. “Are you alright?”  
“Perfectly fine Kix. Now I’m sure you would like the room to yourself. I will be out of here in a moment.” Quickly grabbing his tunic he cursed himself for being so stupid. For letting his guard down. Before he could leave the medics voice echoed to him.  
“Sir, where did you get that scar on your lower back.” He’d known it was too late but he’d hoped that Kix would write the scars off as being caused by the war. But he knew that if he tried to lie Kix would somehow find out anyway. Pulling all emotion out of his tone he replied as quietly as he could.  
“I was 13. On a planet in a civil war, a shell detonated a little too close for comfort. It is nothing you need to worry about I assure you.” Then trying and failing to pretend he wasn’t retreating he left the medic with his thoughts.  
***  
Kix had seen a lot of scars in his life. All he and his brothers had known was war, and scars were inevitable. But the scar on General Kenobi’s back was worse than anything he’d seen on any of his brothers. He knew what a properly healed wound should look like. The General’s wound had not been. It looked too ragged too raw to have been exposed to bacta. It almost looked like it had been barely treated. Not too mention that the General had lashed out at him with glazed eyes. He hadn’t been here. He’d been lost in his mind. The General had been the least put together that he’d ever seen him. Hair a mess and dark bags under his eyes. As soon as he’d asked after the wound the tension that swamped his frame had ratched up. He’d been on the verge of deflecting. Whatever was going on with the General probably had to do with the wound. He’d never seen the jedi move quite so desperately, nor had he ever seen a jedi use a move that was clearly designed to cause immense pain in the victim. General Kenobi wasn’t in a good mindset, it looked like he hadn’t slept for a week, and he clearly couldn’t tell friend from foe. With a barely contained groan he called for the 212th’s medic. He had a jedi to find, preferably before he hurt himself or someone else. After he dealt with that he would figure out how a 13 year old jedi had been caught in a shell blast and why the wound was so poorly healed. Something told him he wasn’t going to like what he found.  
“Rescue vod’ika, I need enough sedatives to put down half of Torrent.”  
***  
Rex was walking down the halls when he saw him. A lump of jedi robes curled in the small recessed area of the hall that was made to be a defensive holding spot. Pale fingers were raking through copper hair. Just looking at the jedi made clear that approaching him could be very dangerous at the moment. His eyes were dazed and if the bruises growing on his knuckles were any indication he’d tried to beat the training droids into submission. As he carefully drew closer he could hear words so quiet it was like he didn’t even mean to say them.  
“I’m sorry Cerasi. I failed. I failed. I promised I wouldn’t fail again. But I have. I have. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He was shaking, Rex realized as he got closer. Carefully he approached. The jedi flinched when he got close. It set a protective part of him on edge.  
“General,” he started quiet and soothing. Kenobi didn’t react. Internally he cursed. That was not good. Suddenly he started tugging on his hair. He looked trapped in a memory. This was bad. He didn't know Kenobi like Skywalker. Just as he was about to comm Cody he heard the muttered words that froze him.  
“They are too young, Cerasi. They are both 5 years old. How can I live with myself if we let them fight and they die. It doesn’t matter if I die, Master Jinn won’t be coming back for me.”  
It was quiet but it painted a picture that didn't sit well with him. Kenobi abandoned. Child soldiers. Stowing away the information for the moment he focused on Kenobi. Kenobi who was out of sorts in a way he’d never seen him. He was vulnerable. The glazed eyes were perhaps the most unsettling, especially considering that they were always clear and sharp even when he’d been down with a concussion. Carefully Rex eyed Kenobi, and he felt the undeniable urge to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration. He had no idea how to approach Kenobi. With his brothers it was easier, if he didn’t know them someone else did. Usually Kix. He didn’t even have a plan for Kenobi. He generally trusted Cody to be fully capable of handling everything to do with Kenobi. Now though Cody was on the bridge of the Negotiator and Kenobi was with him, on the Resolute. With a deep sigh he did what he always did when it came to jedi. He adapted.  
***  
Finding out his General was in the medbay of the Resolute was definitely the worst part of his day. The comm from Rescue had set his teeth on edge. Something was wrong with his jedi, and this time it wasn’t a physical wound he had neglected. No this time it seemed it was a festering mental wound. It was the work of a moment to hand the bridge over to Waxer and make his way to the Resolute. He had the feeling he was not going to like any of what he found out.  
When he got there Kix was fussing over his General. His General who was as far as he could tell asleep. Rex had a look on his face that immediately set me on edge.  
“You should sit vod.” Cody ground his teeth.  
“Out with it Rex.” he snapped. It wasn’t Rex who spoke though. It was Kix and his tone held a dangerous edge.  
“Did you know that at 13 General Kenobi was abandoned on a planet in the midst of Civil War by his Master? That he stayed to aid a third faction made up solely of children who only wanted peace. Apparently it was okay for said Jedi Master to abandon a 13 year old child on a war torn planet. Somehow that man was reinstated as his guardian later when Kenobi got off probation after he’d returned to the jedi. The only reason we know this is because our slicers broke into his medical files at the Temple, and then the files on Melida/Daan where he was abandoned. Your General’s been to war before Commander, with child soldiers under his command, and I don’t think he’s ever dealt with it properly. I can only imagine that means all that the war now is only exasperating the issue.” Cody felt anger bubble up in his chest white and hot. He could imagine it. It burned thinking of his General painfully young leading other painfully young children. Turning on his heel he left the med bay only to go as far as the hall. Turning he punched the wall.  
His General had been abandoned. Only a year younger than Commander Tano who was painfully young as it was. Left behind. It was painful to imagine his General in that situation. He worked to get his temper under control. He can’t change the past. What he can do is be there for his General. He can be there for him.  
Temper firmly under control he walked back into the med bay. He ignored Kix and Rex, he simply focused on the man who looked so vulnerable on the bed. He would be there for him, he decided. He would care for him. He would not abandon his jedi. Whether Obi-Wan realised it or not he had someone in his corner. Someone who would not abandon the Jedi. He saw Rescue with a pad in his hand on another cot, reading up on the General’s medical history, and meeting his eyes he saw the same fiery need to protect reflected back at him. For now they would be there. Later, they would work on healing the wounds of his mind, later they would talk about how exactly he came to be in the medbay, later they would talk about how he was coping. For now they would be their for the Jedi. The Jedi who was hiding from his demons so well it made even those closest to him forget he had any. They would fix that. Grabbing his General’s hand he squeezed, a quiet affirmation to the sleeping Jedi that someone was there. Almost impossibly the remaining tension in his body bled out, letting him truly rest for the first time in a long time. Cody would be there for his General and he would help him heal, heal before he shattered apart.

**Author's Note:**

> *Peaks out from behind hands* So this fic kinda derailed off its tracks. It was suppossed to have a pinch of angst and then a bucket full of fluff. However, it ran off the tracks and switched it. There is a pinch of fluff and a bucket full of angst. Also as I was finishing this the song Be Here for You by Sam Tinnesz started playing... what are the odds... Now this is theoretically set in Soft Wars the series the lovely Project0506 writes. However, those stories are meant to be soft and fluffy.... I don't think this quite checks those boxes. Anyways ramble over.  
> Rescue is my own clone charachter who serves as the medic for the 212th. I hope you all liked it and I would love if you left a review! Have a good day and stay safe in this crazy world!


End file.
